Who knew the jump from 20 to 21 would hold so many new opportunities for growth and be such an important year in my life??
I was a completely different person this time last year. I've learned some very valuable lessons and I thought I'd share a few in case it helps someone else in this new year.

1. Being assertive and telling people what you want doesn't make you rude or a bitch. It makes you better at communicating and helps you get your needs met! I'm the queen of biting off more than I can chew and saying yes to people so I don't hurt their feelings. It's a real skill to learn to say no and saying no doesn't make you a bad person either.

2. "Letting go" or trying to "move on" from something doesn't mean you have to be okay with what happened (Like ever. It never has to be okay with you). But even if you "move on" from something, that doesn't mean you'll never feel hurt or angry or upset by it again. Life is a continual grieving process. You'll continue to grieve things in different ways throughout your life and that's perfectly fine. Give yourself permission to feel those things.

3. You are worth so much more than you realize and deserve to be treated that way. You decide how you want to be treated by the way you allow other people to treat you. Sometimes we get stuck in friendships or relationships where people treat us so badly because we don't think we deserve any different but I promise you do. Everh toxic relationship I let go of lead me to something 10x better in the end.

4. The things I use to think were important (like posting updates on social media about how great my life is, doing fun college things all the time, and  keeping up with fashion trends) have very little importance to me. There are so many other things worth my time and energy than worrying about how people are going to perceive me. I use to give myself anxiety about getting the perfect picture and lost the joy of the memory I was making. I would try to force myself to hang out when I really just needed a night alone and that's perfectly okay. I learned what was important to me and put my time and energy there instead.

6. Just because you aren't where you want to be, doesn't mean you can't be happy with where you are as you get there! Love yourself through every part of your journey, high or low. Accepting yourself where you are is an important part in the journey. It's all about progress not perfection.

7. It's kind of silly but it took me a long time to realize the quality of love I deserve is not defined by how I look or the composition of my body. I'd say things like I'll love myself when so and so happens but I could have loved myself and my journey the entire time which attracts the love of others as well. Just because I don't have the muscle I want or the same body composition as a model that doesn't mean that I don't deserve to be loved and that people aren't going to love me.

8. Just because you learn something once, doesn't mean you don't have to learn it again.. and again.. and again.. some skills have to be continually remastered. Especially the skill of self love and knowing ones worth.